5 Ways America can Fight the oncoming Depression

1. Exercise. Just because you're the strongest and best looking country in the world doesn't mean that you don't need exercise! Sure, it's easier to just pay Mexico as a day worker to care of all the hard labor or to send American pennies over to China to make everything you need so that you can afford to hire Mexico in the first place. But what about the satisfaction that comes from making something with your own two hands? If America isn't careful she could let herself wasting away into a deep pit of depression! But, there's still time! Once you get in the exercise habit, it won't take long to notice a difference in your mood. Come on America! You can do it!

2. Nurture yourself with good nutrition. What are you eating America? Put down that twinkie! No more fast food! No more hormones and chemically enhanced foods! Depression can make you not care and overeat or even not eat at all! (No money... No eat) But that will just feed the demon. Even in the midst of depression America needs to make an effort to restore it's physical health through nutrition. Smoking doesn't help either so lets work on those carbon emissions! OK?

3. Identify troubles, but don't dwell on them. Try to identify any situations that have contributed to your depression. When you know what's got you feeling blue and why, talk about it with a caring friend. The UK is a good standby when no one else can stand you anymore. Or you can pen pal with Yugoslavia? If there's no one to tell, pouring your heart out to a journal or blog works just as well. Try some poetry? Once you air out these thoughts and feelings, turn your attention to something positive like nation building or socialized government. Take action to solve problems. Ask for help if you need it. Even though other countries may hate you and try to kick you while your down, in the end they will realize that they really need your consumerism. China will come through!

4. Express yourself! With depression, a country's creativity and sense of fun may seem blocked. By exercising your imagination (painting, drawing, doodling, sewing, writing, dancing, composing music, etc.) you not only get those creative juices flowing, you also loosen up some positive emotions.

5. Look on the bright side kid! Depression affects a nation's thoughts, making everything seem dismal, negative, and hopeless. If depression has you noticing only the negative, make an effort to notice the good things in being a westernized nation. Try to notice one thing, "Hey, I am still the biggest country in the western hemisphere!"; then try to think of one more, "Canada may be smarter and healthier than I am but we still got Alaska sucka!" Consider your strengths, gifts, or blessings. "Let's see... No money to spend... No money to borrow... We're still really good at printing it so who cares! :)" Most of all, don't forget to be patient with yourself. Depression takes time to heal. "You can do it America! Yes you can!" :)