close your eyes and remember

I miss being a kid...where anything was possible..really the sky wasn't even the limit. I felt like the world was so big and that i alone could conquer it. I planned on having ten million careers plus traveling every inch of the world. I made the best dirt and stick cities in the world and I collected black fuzzy caterpillars until i had a hundred and then they all died and i sat on my back porch and grieved the loss. I remember when i was five and i had this best friend Christopher who thought it was a good idea to kiss me in my amazing plastic pool one day. I got out immediately and told him he was gross and then he cried..and well that began a whole lot of bad luck...anyway, I had chickens too..only because every time we went to the feed store i had to have a chick. I carried those chickens everywhere...time just disappeared when i was little...i created an entire world of my own and told stories and when i got a little older wrote stories. One time i thought i was going to be a detective so i wrote mystery novels in my journals.when i was little the bigger picture didn't make sense and that was fine..i just went on.during Christmas i would always cry..Christmas eve my mom would sit by the tree and just look at it for hours..it was just the two of us and i just felt so sad for her..for me..in general..when i was 8 i met my one of two cousins Jeremy..loved climbing trees so we did for hours and hours and then played old maid and i won...only time i ever saw him... i loved to learn too starting in kindergarten because i hated preschool and sobbed all day until my mom took me home and said ..forget this..haha but kindergarten was great..i knew how to read already..my mom read stories to me ALL the time and i read to...i learned a billion things and liked my teacher.. I made homeade ice cream and walked around and around the playground with my best friend telling each other all our secrets.. and i was a cheerleader for one day until i found that i wasn't peppy and i preferred other things...then whenever my dad was around i would fall asleep just so he would carry me to bed...I had four huge trees in my backyard that were 4 different worlds...i dug at least 5 feet to prove to my friend that you couldn't dig to China....i wore a tshirt that said 'I live for Saturdays' when all the other girls wore fluffy dresses....i was competitive and adventurous and shy and emotional and smart and selfish and rebellious and had no sense of style...and it was beautiful.

This life we live is beautiful..exquisite really. It's filled with the deepest hurt and the deepest pleasures..times of letting go and times of gaining more than we could ever imagine or dream. Our lives are stories themselves and should be told often. A childlike heart is the key to heaven..don't let it go.