Inspiration

"A garden. I've stolen a garden. But it may already be dead, I don't know."
"I'll know."
"Promise you won't tell anyone?"
"Promise."
"No one?"
"Not a soul."

"The secret garden is always open now. Open, and awake, and alive. If you look the right way, you can see that the whole world is a garden. "

-The Secret Garden

Thankful for the Squirrel

Twas the day of Thanksgiving and I headed, a bit deliriously, up to Big Bear. Every time I head up to those mountains it seems as if my whole life flashes before me and I am continuously stunned at the beauty that I experienced for most of my life living there. (Was it this amazing then?) Driving in thick fog is one of my most favorite pastimes and a gift on my drive. It's just so mysterious. Half the drive was fog filled and even snowy at times. I drove alone.. and for the first time in a long time just let everything sink in. People say that you never are thankful for what you have until it's gone. Well, as cliche as that may be, that is one of the emotions I feel about my mountains. As I reached the top of the mountain I sighed...and then I hit a dang squirrel which sent me into a torrent of negative emotions that I only recovered from when I hit Maple (the street..not a tree) and complained for the 40th time why they put a light there. Anyway, I spent the day with my adopted family which was great as always...played some Redneck Life...drank some good wine..spilled some secrets..and some wine ;)....watched James Bond and munched for days on Kettle Chips and the same dip that we've had every year since I met them...I slept on the most uncomfortable bed on the planet (but amazing at the same time...thanks Aaron)..and I woke up to a graphic poster of some Operation Ivy guy glaring at me...creepy... And after a nice breakfast of "champions" I went for a drive..laughed at the quirks of my small town and then left it behind again smiling as an old friend invited me to go out that night and see all the people who had eventually given up on city life and moved back. As much as the mountains will always make me smile....I have no plans on returning long term...because if I returned it would be taken advantage of again and instead of writing my favorite things I would be listing the top ten reasons why small towns are a chasm impossible to crawl out of. :)

The holidays for me are naturally melancholy & strongly reminiscent. My life has changed immensely over the years and thankfulness has become an overcoming emotion that always lies upon my heart. I'm thankful for the family that even in the most dark moments took me in as there own and love me consistently through my flaws and hurts. I'm thankful that no matter what direction my life has taken, God has been there strong and steadfast. I'm thankful for the little things...the people that make me smile when smiling is the last thing on my mind...the dream that I get to wake up to everyday....the stillness and beauty of nature untouched by man....a child's belief in God....the feeling of the best fuzzy blanket in the world....and so much more than I could never explain..but enough of this sappiness......:)

Social Classes and the Demise of a Once Thriving Society

As I rolled out of my roll out bed this morning (I can't sleep in my bedroom when it's messy..call me crazy...or lazy), I realized hallelujah Jesus. I was off today. FINALLY I wake up to the fluffiest grey clouds in the world and I'M OFF! Being off work for me is a means to celebrate. So, I proceeded to clean the house. Two hours later..the party was still on...still cleaning. Now I don't want y'all to think I'm compulsive in this area...because if you saw my bedroom on a regular basis you would realize that I'm not one of those people. But, alas, I do love the sight and experience of organization and cleanliness...the smell of fresh antibacterialish air. After my cleaning frenzy I succumbed to the computer just in time to inform the world (facebook) that I was off (gotta update that status) and also to peruse some blogs which in the end only made me realize how much I don't contribute to my own blog..but whatever. After all this I decided that the only way to make my day would be to go to Target. Target, my friends is the place you go when you need a lamp for 8 bucks. Lamp in hand, I also grabbed two fluffy white pillows and checked out. Sitting in my car, I suddenly noticed that my hair was greasy. NASTY! In my utter horror, I headed to Walmart in order to feel better about my appearance but only found myself to be more depressed and almost run down by an angry tatooed person. Then, to make matters worse I walked slowly and patiently to the 12 items for less line and BAM..lady in front of me with 1200 items complaining incessantly about people who talk on there cell phones when checking out. Feeling more than a little perturbed, I picked up my phone and sent a few text messages while glaring at her PILE of things. 2 hours later I left with a smart water and a pack of gum and a migraine and the realization that I will never step foot in Walmart again. Now, I am home....ahhh..for only just a moment and then I'm off to see the wizard and some AMAZING graphic design work after I pay $1.95 for gas and reminisce of Thanksgiving holidays past.

Wisdom From a Bearded Russian

"Everyone thinks of changing the world, no one thinks of changing himself."

-Leo Tolstoy

Must Be Politically Active

Last week one of the most morally important propositions for our blue blue state was able to pass due to some major public support from thousands of concerned citizens including yours truly! :) Unfortunately another terribly important Prop slipped through the cracks and was allowed to fail. Prop 4 concerning minors needing to have at least one parent be notified before a doctor could perform an abortion failed. The sad thing is that most of the "liberal" demonstrators I met were in support of that proposition. It seems that it may have failed because of lack of public awareness. Usually when someone doesn't know what a proposition is all about they default to "NO" just to be safe. Prop 4 should have been common sense! But since no one stood up and declared it to be so, it failed. :(

Lesson learned!